I have not visited this space since April of 2010 just over a year ago now and in a Shakespearean comedic slash tragedy kind of way how much so very much has changed and why WHY It brings me here, of all the places I could have gone..this unfinished journey will bear the fruit of what was promised what feels like a life time ago that this has to count for something. Believe E. Trust. Write. Hold on.
What has happened in the time and space in between, what has shaken me to the very core of my being? stripped away all pretense and makes me want to write it down.. albeit; I am no writer but more than breathing and once upon a time I wanted to be. I can say this now, so that perhaps one day I will be. I suspect that in some ways I am what you would call a bit of naive realist.. I can only aspire to get better, at writing certainly but more imporantly at growing at healing and seeing that this... all of this was not just words I put down, but the fulfillment of a promise made and kept a life time ago.
The last post all those many many days ago...the 5 pathways to Happiness.. I made it to 2 paths or was it 3? once again, my personal path when met with resistance; simply.. ceased and in the wake of this particular storm after being not only knocked over, dow, sideways AND upside my head, I start with a confession. I stopped running. With the death of my Beloved Kimmie, the broken attempt at true love the ever present struggle with the business of life, I am discouraged and in pain, bleeding from every part of my heart and soul .... find myself looking inwards, upwards and finally again towards shoes... running shoes that is.
I am here.
holding on.
and putting the shoes back on.
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